I Am Buraot

As usual, I was traveling alone, trying to discover the world with my very own eyes.

On one of my journeys, I passed by the combined desert lands of ancient Mesopotamia and Persia, the lands that brought the story of Genesis into life, the cradle of civilization, the land of the Pyramids and the Pharaohs, and the land of my father, Abraham.

I always wanted to go there. One clairvoyant Italian lady told me, years before, that I used to be an Arab prince on my previous life. Thought maybe I could live to be one in at least a couple of days.

But the truth is, I am in search of the mystical Arab trees…. Continue Reading…

I don’t wanna think about it. Of what am I doing here…

My reason for being here, and what brought me here. Despite endless hurdles, I took whatever this extraterrestrial journey had to offer. I didn’t know why, I didn’t know how. Backtrack as I wanted to, I am already here, contemplating these quandary of sorts.

My mind is in its agonizing predicament to free itself from this comforting numbness, this deafening silence of empty space, brought about by such self-inflicted scientific but masochistic qualms.

I don’t wanna feel the guilt. Of remembering what became of me…. Continue Reading…

I was in a coma, a self-induced medical necessity to keep my body frozen. In my file lies a randomly assigned number that identifies my face. I was somehow trapped here. At least for a while… I hope.

My fingers are crossed…

Help is nowhere in sight. The chance of staying frozen in this cryptic chamber forever is relatively high. Its probability, almost certain.

I dare not call my kindred. For I already banished them, banished myself away from them. Countless times they have asked me to come back to the fold. The ancient one kept begging me to let go of my travesty, say goodbye to my never ending journey. Continue Reading…

February 28, 2001. That was eight years ago. The 16 hour flight from Manila was uneventful. I was traveling with my brother, my sister and her son.

They were all excited, eager to see what the land of milk and honey could bring. Hopeful and quite optimistic for a new and better life in America.

They all were ecstatic. I wasn’t.

Ever since we had the news that our immigration papers were approved, contrary to what everybody felt, I was shattered. It was as if my life ended. Suspended was the more appropriate term. Yes I was waiting for this to come, but that was when I still don’t have kids.

Life in the Philippines was getting harder everyday. So an opportunity like this one is definitely hard to resist. And it was even harder for me. My kids are growing up, they needed more, I needed to provide more, and I needed to secure their future. A better opportunity is now at hand, at least for my kids, so I needed to go. That was the simple economic truth. Continue Reading…

February 25…. I was a tank.

With armored skin no bullet can ever pass through, I faced them. Them people I so loved. Them people who so loved me. Them people I so cherished and vowed to protect. Them people who were the reasons for my cold, pathetic and egotistical existence.

Yea, I faced them. But not in the usual way. Instead of facing the battlefield together, with them on my side, I now confront them. One by one.. piece by piece… body by body.. mind by mind… soul by soul… heart by heart.

I can’t dare move myself away from where I lie. Continue Reading…

It was too late to head back. Curiosity, excitement, whatever it is, I knew I had to see it. I hesitantly took it on my hands that for some reason were starting to tremble with anxiety….  I flipped through its seemingly fresh seams of paper.

While my eyes were scanning the wholeness of its recently published pages, I realized that my heart was slowly bleeding itself to death. The words that I was reading were directly piercing and slashing themselves through me.

Sharp enough to pass straight through my eyes and directly chipped away my heart into tiny bits of pieces. Continue Reading…

I decided to leave work early. Being a night owl myself, I work graveyards. But today I can’t wait ’til seven in the morning.

I don’t feel sick. I just kinda feel like I was in a trance due to fatigue. My mind was like in auto mode. Everything I see looked like it was hazy and wrapped in cold water-carrying clouds.

My body was so stiffed I thought this must be how it feels when you get injected with formaldehyde. I guess if somebody asks me a question, my only reply would be, “say whaaat?”. Continue Reading…