I Am Buraot

Five little squirrels sitting on a tree, the first one said, what do I see?

I gazed past my little angel giggling and mumbling her little rhyme. Behind her was the face that launched me to sail my sunken ship, straight up the northern shores where the majestic auroras are kept.

Its inner glow radiates outwardly and shone on me that I wasn’t able to see the fine details of its source. I thought it was making me temporarily blind.

What do I see…..?

I almost forgot that for the past week, I couldn’t see the fine details of anything anymore, much more her face.

I chose not to see it. I knew of the imperfections. It does not matter.  It comes with the package, so I fully embraced it. Sometimes I chose not to see it and just ignore it. Again it does not matter. I looked past through rough and shady spots, pretended to be blind and just put my arms around it. Because I know, just one warm hug would settle it and take away all my fears and doubts.

Now I had no choice but not to see it. I am now officially half-blind. Darkness is beginning to fall. They say darkness is the absence of light. But I was blinded by too much of it. I can only see half of me, the other half almost pitch-black.

Sometimes I would open my unseeing eye and leave the good one closed. From there, some mysterious shapes and sizes would come to life, not in a monochromatic way, but in a new water-colored life I am quite unfamiliar with.

The images were alive like there are water and oil particles that just keep on moving around a limited piece of slick canvass. It would twist and turn and stretched itself out and back, forcing itself beyond its limits and the boundaries of known physics.

I don’t know if I was hallucinating or not. But it makes me real scared that after my legs, my lungs, my heart, and my eye, my mind would begin to lose itself. I was real scared that as soon as the idea hit me I had to pry both my eyes open, as if it would somehow help me to see fully. I looked around me and yet, all I can see are fainted echoes and silhouettes.

In my last remaining faculty, I can still imagine the fullness of the figure of what I wanted to see, of who I wanted to see.

And I just see her looking back at me.